This article discusses the 2 keys to a successful marriage everyone needs to apply. Please read and apply what you’ve read.
After warning his listeners against adultery, Jesus counseled:
If, now, that right eye of yours is making you stumble, tear it out and throw it away from you.
If you are the offending mate, can you think of actions or attitudes that, for the sake of your marriage, should be torn out and thrown away?
Obviously, you need to break off contact with the other party in the adultery.
Paul, changed his work schedule and his cell-phone number so that he no longer interacted with the other woman.
However, those efforts failed to break all contact. Paul was so determined to rebuild trust with his wife that he left his job.
He also got rid of his cell phone and used only his wife’s phone.
Has the inconvenience been worth the effort? His wife, Debbie, says:
It has been six years, and I still occasionally worry that she will try to make contact. But I now trust that Paul will not succumb to temptation.
If you are the guilty mate, you may also need to make changes to your personality. For example, you may have a flirtatious manner, or you may enjoy fantasizing about romantic relationships with other people.
If so, “strip off the old personality with its practices.” Replace former habits with new ones that will strengthen your mate’s confidence in you.
Has your upbringing made it difficult for you to express affection? Even if it feels awkward at first, be generous in your expressions of love and reassurance to your spouse. Steve recalls:
Jodi would often show affection with a touch of her hand, and she regularly said “I love you.”
For a time, you would do well to be completely open about your daily activities. Mi Young, mentioned earlier, states:
Chul Soo made a point of telling me everything that happened during each day, even the most unimportant things, in an attempt to show me he had nothing to hide.
TRY THIS: Ask each other what actions are likely to help rebuild trust. List them, and then put them into practice. Also, add to your routine some activities that you can enjoy together.
Do not be quick to conclude that it is time to start living as if everything were back to normal. Everyone that is hasty surely heads for want. It will take time—perhaps years—to restore trust.
If you are the betrayed mate, allow yourself time to forgive fully. Mi Young recalls:
I used to think it was strange if a wife could not forgive her unfaithful husband. I could not understand why she would be so angry for so long. However, when my husband was unfaithful to me, I understood why forgiveness is difficult.” Forgiveness—and trust—are likely to come gradually.
At first, you may feel that isolating yourself emotionally from your spouse is the safest course.
However, doing so indefinitely will not help you to rebuild trust in your mate.
To heal the breach, forgive your mate and express that forgiveness by sharing your intimate thoughts and feelings with your spouse.
Also encourage your mate to share his or her joys and concerns.
Do not nurture bitterness. Work to overcome it.
You may find it helpful to meditate on God’s own example.
He was deeply hurt when his worshipers in ancient Israel turned away from him. Jehovah God even likened himself to a betrayed marriage mate.
But he did not stay resentful to time indefinite.
When his people returned to him in genuine repentance, he forgave them.
Eventually, when both of you are satisfied that the necessary changes in your relationship have been made, you will gain a sense of security.
Then, instead of giving constant attention to merely saving your marriage, you can focus together on other goals. Even so, schedule regular periods of time to evaluate your progress.
Do not become complacent.
Deal with minor setbacks, and confirm your commitment to each other.
TRY THIS: Instead of trying to get your marriage back to the way it was, think of yourselves as building a new and stronger relationship.
In times of uncertainty, remember this: God is the Originator of the marriage arrangement.
Therefore, with his help, you can make your marriage succeed. All the couples mentioned above applied the Bible’s wise counsel and were able to save their marriage.